A Sense in Solitude
One's own mind holds uncharted waters
Be still and dive deeper into the anonymous
Swim in the darkness of your soul's story
Plunge into the silence of solitude
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In those moments of quiet, question
Ponder the landscape of self-awareness
Breathe in the whispers of creativity
Recognise the true power of being alone
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Voyage to your ego and unearth buried thoughts
Face the realms of false expressions
Detach from the discord sung by the crowds
Re-centre the presence of peace
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Speak the language of loneliness
Meet your feelings where they falter
Walk the unexpected road of introspection
Let the noise of life declare: "I exist within my calm"
© Hawenayo 2025
The Separated Soul
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Man looks to the stars searching for light
Detached from the spark that endures within
Ignoring the truth of one's own might
Never exploring the self beneath the skin
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The heart of man seeks a saviour beyond
Disconnected from the knowledge that speaks within
Interrupted is the wisdom that wishes to respond
His perception broken by nonsense and sin
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Bleak conversations plague man's mind
A dissonance rampant within
His identity held in spaces confined
Ideas of freedom discarded in a neglected bin
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Man stands at a distance from his own mirror
Obscuring the reflection of the reality within
Believing the shape of his being is an observable error
As life mourns the death of his deserving grin
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© Hawenayo 2025
Nebulous
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It started with clarity; I, a divine and deliberate expression of the cosmos. That, indeed, was my genesis; a focused expansion of creation with a simple and detailed intent—exist and experience. Yet, I float through life as an unformulated thought; a mind constantly in a haze. My very own being—although sewn together with the same fabric that forms reality—frequently draped in ill-defined materials that bury the truth of the human spirit in layers of confusion and falsehood. I stand, eyes fixated on the beyond, curious yet unclear, as a soul always searching for something more. Lost in the indistinct concepts of the self and wandering in the vastness of a vague heart, one often fails to remember that it started with clarity.
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© Hawenayo 2025
Stargazer
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I wonder if the stars look down at us and see how we shine; if the phenomenon of such celestial bodies live on in a gaze, then could my seemingly ordinary life be an extraordinary light elsewhere? My own sparkle appearing for a moment in the eyes of some unknown being, where a wish is made at the sight of my passing glow. I witness the night sky and think about the darkness that holds each luminous point in its place, for I know that same darkness holds me here too; my very presence—although just a slight and often faltered radiance—still giving shape to the cosmos.
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© Hawenayo 2024
The Dance
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Alone,
She dances—
Dances with her head held high
Her face lifted up towards the sun
Tracking its movement across the sky
Alone,
She dances—
Dances in her own garden of love
A song from her soul blowing in the wind
As she follows the radiance above
Alone,
She dances—
Dances with the sunflowers in the meadow
Dancing though her balance seems off
For quietly behind her, dances her shadow
Alone,
She dances—
Dances without a care for the unsteadiness that grows
Her broken steps leading her astray
As her dark side remains close
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Alone,
She dances
Alone,
She stumbles
Alone,
She stops—
Stops in an empty field buried under the darkness of night
Alone,
She sits—
Sits with herself in the hazy moonlight
Alone,
She asks—
Asks for equilibrium to find its place here
Alone,
She listens—
Listens to a quiet voice within her say: “Conquer fear”
Alone,
She weeps—
Weeps as from deep inside her rises a storm
Alone,
She struggles—
Struggles as demons and monsters take their form
Alone,
She watches—
Watches as her nightmares stand tall like mountains
Alone,
She chooses—
Chooses to learn each and every name of those titans
Alone,
She welcomes—
Welcomes home the parts of herself she believed were wrong
Alone,
She discovers—
Discovers that both her light and dark have been worthy all long
Alone,
She smiles
Alone,
She dances
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Alone,
She dances—
Dances to a new song singing in her heart
New steps guiding her to the sunflower field
Where lays the promise of a brand new start
Alone,
She dances—
Dances in the glow of her own presence
Dances, dances, and dances on
Moving freely with her shadow and every part of her essence
© Hawenayo 2024
Dark Night of the Soul
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It’s a lonely walk along this road
It’s the dark night of the soul
The sun has set and light has gone
Yesterday lost beyond the horizon
It’s a lonely walk along this road
It’s the dark night of the soul
Plunged into a world of shadows
Unknown stand my tomorrows
It’s a lonely walk along this road
It’s the dark night of the soul
In this pit of pain which way do I go?
As larger grows the hollow
It’s a lonely walk along this road
It’s the dark night of the soul
Stars spiral out of my control
There’s no escaping this black hole
It’s a lonely walk along this road
It’s the dark night of the soul
A journey across the vast abyss
Revealing all that’s ever been eclipsed
It’s a lonely walk along this road
It’s the dark night of the soul
Bruised is the skin shed from the past
A new face breathes beneath the broken mask
It’s a lonely walk along this road
It’s the dark night of the soul
But darkest is the hour before dawn
Ahead the rise of a glorious morn
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​ © Hawenayo 2024
The In Between
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Stuck in the middle of who I was and who I want to be
Can you meet me here where my chaos strives for harmony?
Where yesterday's dreams chase tomorrow's fears
And today's clarity drowns in an ocean of my tears
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Stuck in the middle of who I was and who I want to be
The truth of my identity clouded by these different versions of me
A fractured heart longing to hear the inner child's talk
Freedom a path that self struggles to walk
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Stuck in the middle of who I was and who I want to be
A loud mind with a quiet soul; it's he against she
Knowledge seeking its own expression
Somewhere in between the answer and the next question
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Stuck in the middle of who I was and who I want to be
Discomfort separating my "I am" from moments of sincerity
The balance of ego existing amidst the now
And yet it remains; the search for how
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© Hawenayo 2024
The Doom of My Reflection
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I was always waiting for a time other than now
Looking for a place other than here
Because when the mirror told me about my present moment
All I saw were broken dreams stuck in a body of fear
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I was always waiting for a love apart from my own
Looking for an embrace apart from the one already here
Because when the mirror told me about my pain and heartache
All I saw were demons fighting everything dear
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I was always waiting for another time and looking for another love
Believing my worth was not yet here
Because when the mirror told me about my very being
All I wanted was the end to be near​​​
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© Hawenayo 2024
About Hawenayo
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​The complexities of our human experience bring moments of confusion and moments of clarity; many of us—as we navigate the world with anxieties and depression—seek balance and inner peace, with a deep desire to know a life as beautiful as the true nature of our very own beings.
As Hawenayo, I write to understand and makes sense of my reality; for me, I often wonder what it means to exist in today's society as a thirty-something-year-old black woman.
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Here, I share some of my darkest thoughts; the harsh judgements I carry towards my own heart and the struggles I’ve had with accepting all parts of my identity.
Through my sincere expressions, I hope you are able to find answers; may the words I leave behind give you comfort and companionship through your moments of change, bringing solutions that assist your soul on its path to healing, as I, too, journey to self-love.​​​​
Original Poetry. Copyright © 2024 Hawenayo. All Rights Reserved.